I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
