does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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