I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
