Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
