Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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