In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
