PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She needs sedatives and a leash
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
