Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Welp...herpes.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
