you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize