Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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