Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I am mentally ready for anal.
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