That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
