Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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