sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My dick has a subreddit
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
