Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
