I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
