i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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