LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
