I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
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