Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
