He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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