Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
