Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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