The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
