So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
