You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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