Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
