well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
