im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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