guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
