i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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