Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
