you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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