Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I love having hate sex.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
