you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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