You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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