remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
