bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize