dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
