I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
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