Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
