I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
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drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
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They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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