Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Shame - the story of my life.
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