operation have a gay friend backfired
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm at about main and main street
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
