i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
