He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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