haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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