the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
