He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
