He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
