can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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