Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
