The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize