I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
