at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
