you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
