is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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