That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!