I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?