You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
