i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
His hands were made for my vagina.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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